Q1: April-June

I want to write a monthly update here mainly for myself as a record of how building this whole fandango is going, but also in case anyone else is interested in a) my life beyond the things I make and b) my journey towards actually making an income on Etsy to pay for c) my journey towards getting into a drama school as a mature student. If that's you then it's here in brown and beige for ya. Here's the good, the bad and the fugly.

The work

So Q1 has been intense and hectic. I learned how to make digital planners and made several of them, I learned about phone themes, how to make those and made a bunch of them too. I conquered many battles with adobe software, I rebranded and redesigned my website, I made a bunch of products for my Etsy shop, ran a few sakes with the intention of getting eyeballs on my account with the hopes to boost my rankings a little and I think that went pretty well considering I'm new to Etsy so I'll be listed right at the very bottom of everything. I made a few small value sales - which others looking on may see as a failure but I see as a success because actually making any sales at this stage wasn't even on my agenda and I got 5* reviews too so that made me happy. I also got my pinterest views up from 600 to 4k a month.

There has been so much to do: rebranding my site, making the products, setting up templates, revamping and pruning pinterest which up til now I'd only used for personal picture hoarding, doing research, reading every how-to book I can get my hands on, doing product pics, realising I need to really get my branding nailed down before I get too far into things because that's a lot to redo otherwise, designing my templates for social posts and creating some, blog writing etc..

There has been so much to learn! SO MUCH: I'm trying to learn how to pinterest, how to SEO, learn what the heck a longtail keyword is, how rankings work, how on earth marketing works, how to market without sounding salesy and shoving my stuff in peoples faces going "BUY IT!!" because I'm not that person and don't want to be 'that' person. I'm having to learn how Etsy search works, how keywords are different on Etsy vs other places, what makes a good shop image, what makes a good pinterest image, what google console is, how do I read analytics, should I bother with social media like instagram or lemon8 or not? where are my audience? do I need to register as a sole trader? when do I need to register as a company? What happens with HMRC? (tax office), how do I find my tribe? How is it 11pm already? What year is it? How much coffee is too much?

It's a lot.

I'll be honest: I don't have a clue what I'm doing right now. I just doing any and all of it hoping something works and whatever does work I'll do more of.

There has been so much to learn my head is spinning and I've been working longer hours than I did even as a corporate designer in a London startup trying to plough my way through a seemingly bottomless to do list. All while being in a pretty significant amount of pain.

The health

As this blog is new, and you are new, in brief: Exactly 2 years ago I sustained a head injury which has left me with a lot of neck problems which give me heart problems, and posture related issues like slipping rib syndrome. I was strong, fit and healthy as an ox my entire life so this has been a huge blow that I'm struggling to come to terms with because it has absolutely robbed me of a normal life. I can't sit in any position for longer than 20 mins at a time before being in pain, so that also rules out long journeys which means I've barely seen any of my friends in two years and I'm incredibly isolated.

I've been totally unsupported by the NHS the entire way through this - the only thing they were actually interested in finding out was if I had bleeding in my brain (i didn't) and if I was having a heart attack. I wasn't. I never thought I was. From the start I had said 'I think something is wrong with my neck and ribs. But what do I know I'm just the person living in this body. After a year of being in chronic pain and being dismissed over and over by doctors and physiotherapists I went to an independent osteopath who diagnosed me in 10 mins with possible cervical instability and 2 dislocated ribs with loose ligaments due to them being dislocated for so long. He popped them back in and I was fine for about 4 months til they went out again. Now it's more of a maintainence situation trying to keep them in place while my ligaments gradually tighten up. With the cervical instability, we're trying to get me scanned to find out exactly what's going on in there. Nobody has scanned my neck or anything to see what's going on despite me saying from day one 'this is a neck problem', and as I sit here calmly typing this out my heart is hammering away at 80bpm, my neck is in a spasm and I can't look right. This is a normal day for me now. It's been a very draining journey hounding doctors trying to find answers for what is happening to me, waiting almost a year for most of my appointments and constantly having to chase my GP surgery because they are completely inept. A prime example - every time they book me in for a blood test they don't do it properly - i wait 3 weeks for my test and turn up on time only to be told i'm not on the system and have to rebook. My favourite example was them losing not one, but three referrals for a heart monitor. So it's been a lot. And I haven't been able to have a normal job while all this has gone on. How my mental health has been more or less ok during this whole thing I don't know. I attribute it to my best friends Boo & Ray, my stubborn spirit and also my plant babies. After a 4 month wait to get back on the physio list in hopes to finally get a scan I had my first appointment and my new physio is a really lovely human being who is going to try and get me a scan. Interestingly he said a lot of his patients are in the same boat as me - having to deal with long term problems because nobody wanted to see them during covid and now there's a backlog of people like us who are taking longer to fix because we've been busted up for so long. Now the weather has warmed up and the park has dried out I'm taking myself on long walks most mornings just to get some kind of baseline fitness built up.

The books (& audiobooks)

'Believe' by Jamie Kern Lima

Really lovely book full of really good lessons in perseverance, not becoming jaded, sticking up for yourself and living life with an open heart no matter what. Jamie has been through a lot in her life and is such a pure soul despite it all. I'd absolutely be friends with her. This is a great book for bossgirls /femmepreneurs like me because Jamie is really honest about her journey starting from nothing and how it feels like an overwhelming uphill slog. I'm definitely going to listen to this more than once.

'How to get to the top on Google' by Tim Cameron Kitchen

This is the first book I've read that is aimed at idiots like me that actually has substance. What really irritates me is books aimed at beginners who only cover the absolute basics - like 'pinterest SEO for begginers' who only tell you 'pinterest is a search engine, here's how to install pinterest'. Most of us aren't idiots - we can grasp concepts easily but are held back by a laguage barrier when it comes to jargon. For example if you told me 'when you offer something in exchange for an email' I would understand that, but the term 'lead magnet' is utterly alien to me. This book is well explained in idiot-proof language but without treating you like an idiot who can't absorb anything beyond the absolute basics. Defo recommend.

'Greenlights' by Matthew Mcconaughey

My goodness what a life that irrepressible guy has led. What situations he has got himself into. The sense of humour he manages to find in even the bleakest moments. Very entertaining. No dinner party with this guy at the table would ever be boring. Definitely recommend. Also recommend the audio book version for this one - his humour really shines through it.

'The Enchanted Life' by Sharon Blackie

I just downloaded this one and am only a few pages in but I feel like I've found a kindred spirit here already. If you like my vibe with the calm/nature side of me, I suspect you'll like this too.

'How to sell on Etsy with Pinterest' by Charles Huff

I'm only about 1/3 through this and I've skipped a lot because it's very basic. 'This is what a pin is' type content so far, but I'm hoping the more advanced stuff will come later.

'The Art of Acting' by Stella Adler

I'm most of the way through this and I adore her. She reminds me very much of my dad's vocal coach who generations of opera singers have been in terror of. Stella is opinionated, has absolutely no time for anyones bullshit, calls a spade a spade and hits you over the head with it to prover her point, and has so much good life advice crammed in that I think this book is valuable to people who aren't actors almost as much as those who are. Everything I've read in this book - even the dark, intimidating stuff just confirms everything I have ever believed that this was what I was put on this earth to do. This is what my brain is wired for.

'The Actor's Life: A survival guide' by Jenna Fischer (Aka Pam from The Office (American Edition)

I had zero expectations for this book, but it's actually a really good book. She's humorous and humble and it contains some fantastic practical advice for newbies to 'The Biz' like me, who don't know what makes a good headshot vs a pretty pic, agent vs manager, the audition process and what to expect in various stages, how to keep your sanity, and generally good practical tips like if you have to film a scene where you're eating mint chocolate chip ice cream cake, don't snarf an entire plate of the stuff on the first take cos you'll be having to eat that shit over and over for the next 12 hours until shooting has ended.

(I generally read about 4 books at once and dip in and out of whichever one I'm feeling into at the time. I've been like this since I was a kid and it drove my parents mad)

The Acting

I've found and signed up for a local AmDram group about a week ago. I've been to 3 sessions so far and everyone has been very welcoming. They're performing scenes to an audience next week so I haven't had a chance to actually get stuck in myself yet aside from having a script thrown at me with zero notice to fill in for someone during rehearsal. It's the coldest cold read I've ever done in my life! It was a fast paced scene generally but everyone charged through it so quickly I was just frantically scrambling down the page trying to find my lines (2 of the characters names were similar and the script wasn't highlighted) - no time to read through first, or read stage directions, no idea what the scene was about or how I should play it or anything! Literally 'Hey Tash! Read Megan' as a script comes flying towards me! I was actually shaking a little from the adrenaline after doing that - I had to pull brain cells out of retirement. I was a little surprised at how physically my body responded to that - I'm usually incredibly comfortable on a stage and public speaking and presenting doesn't phase me at all. Of course I get a little nervous before I have to speak but it's never fear just excitement and wanting to do a good job of it.

I also signed up for a week long intensive summer programme at the drama school I want to apply for as a full time student next year. The travel makes me nervous because of the rib situation I mentioned above.

I've been reading acting books and trying to swat up because I always think the best thing I can arm myself with in any situation is as much knowledge as possible.

I'm also on the waiting list for a class audit at AMAW and trying to find out dates for a workshop I've done previously because I really enjoyed it and want to do it again.

And that's where we are at the moment. It's been quite hectic.

My hopes for Q2

I hope Q2 sees everything on an upward trajectory.

I hope to have a very clear, solid brand, and am starting to grow my brand presence.

I hope to get a good lookin' Etsy shop full of things I'm proud of that help other people.

I hope I'll have a clearer idea of what I'm doing and how to do it.

I hope I'll start having a better workflow because right now I honestly feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken making it up as I go along and hoping for the best. I hope my walks in the morning to help my body heal and lose some of this weight I've piled on. Movement is medicine and nature is the best healer.

I hope my neck spams stop and I can do more things with less pain. I want to start rebounding again and making yoga part of my daily practise again because I love bouncing and yoga and I haven't been able to do it for a few months now because my ribs and neck have been bad.

I hope I get to sit by a river at some point and visit my favourite crystal shop again.

I hope that my heart rate goes down again so I can feel better and get better sleep.

I hope I get more opportunities to act, and the courses I do help propel me forward

I hope i get closer to my financial goal for covering my fees.

I hope I am able to juggle plates better and have a better sense of balance with all the things I'm trying to divide my time between, so I can be effective without burning out